That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
