I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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