I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
