Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
After last night, I could never be a politician.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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