? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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