So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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