I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
