I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
