i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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