When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
