I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
