i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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