why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize