I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
