butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna bring you to show and tell
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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