so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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