People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
