woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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