please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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