Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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