you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.