Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

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  (905): So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises http://tfl.nu/ed2j
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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  (248): so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision http://tfl.nu/5juy
  Replies (16) Good night (616) Bad night (3611) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

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  (778): some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood" http://tfl.nu/duu9
  Replies (47) Good night (999) Bad night (6969) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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  (623): Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again. http://tfl.nu/wv7w
  Replies (23) Good night (621) Bad night (3702) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.

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  (954): We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles. http://tfl.nu/w60i
  Replies (38) Good night (6160) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just saw the nastiest chick.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Where?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

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  (603): I just saw the nastiest chick. (1-603): Where? (603): woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you http://tfl.nu/hbsk
  Replies (43) Good night (1178) Bad night (8144)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
  Replies (53) Good night (10531) Bad night (1473) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

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  (925): I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard. http://tfl.nu/47cs
  Replies (13) Good night (3114) Bad night (1353) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.

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  (816): Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster. http://tfl.nu/ox02
  Replies (26) Good night (5834) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.

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  (408): we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good. http://tfl.nu/45si
  Replies (3) Good night (2046) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.

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  (262): At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex. http://tfl.nu/iosj
  Replies (26) Good night (5330) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.

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  (254): I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me. http://tfl.nu/dyjh
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  (315): View more from New York

  some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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  (315): some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad. http://tfl.nu/fabc
  Replies (7) Good night (1343) Bad night (2174) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.

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  (701): They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture. http://tfl.nu/7kma
  Replies (2) Good night (1205) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.

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  (641): IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS. http://tfl.nu/d7hp
  Replies (16) Good night (2346) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt

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