All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip