waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
