help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
