Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize