hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize