dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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