I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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