i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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