I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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