I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Randomize
