Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
