If i come over, it means nothing
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
