i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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