What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
