that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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