apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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