i think i have two assholes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize