My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
