why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
