btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
