I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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