Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think your dad took our porno
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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