Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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