Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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