two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
