Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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