Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
