i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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