nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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