Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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