Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
