Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize