I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you made out with another girl for some wings
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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