I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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