remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
