Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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