I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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