We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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