She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
