im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
