So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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